Pray

Good Lord, sunshine, I don't know what to say. I am so distressed that you are alone in this -- must be really scary. People are showing their true colors, unfortunately. I pray someone steps up to speak for you.

I love the fight in you. You are going through a hell right now. Angry is OK! I would be too.

This morning after I wrote the above post I lay on my bed (again and felt into 'what do I do when I feel done' like I do at the moment and I remembered I surrender, I surrender the whole bloody lot...
I'm such a fighter too sunshine these past few yrs have been one catastrope after another. thing was I had fight, I had drive and determination and all but now I feel weak and out of the above. Of course who wouldn't, when we go through challenge after challenge it erodes on a healthy system never mind a M. E cfs one and whatever else is going on.
I feel blessed for what I do have but is it enough!? Like a crawling parched scorn body crawling across a vast desert.
I feel it's important for us to share our shit because my shit is your shit and visa Versa not to fix each other but to be heard.
I share not to make it all about me, or to be victim but to have a voice in a world that carries on with its pleasures and it's darkness. What I'm discovering unless there is true love generally people don't give a shit cause self comes first. Then there are the empathic, sensitive Co dependants like me who care too much.
I've seen the non love from my family members, that stuff really shines up when we are vunerable and in need.. I've let my father pretty much go recently. Friends get on with their lives and I had to let a 7 Yr friend go 1yr ago for the lack..
I have to trust that the letting go is an act of self love but fuck it feels lonely.
So divine spirit it's over to u because while people, blood, others go on plush holidays, rejoyce in life's goodness, are in the world as I once was..
Only you know the why.... I'll let u write the story.... But hey just make sure its a good ending because come on that must be true 🙏💖

almost said:

Good Lord, sunshine, I don't know what to say. I am so distressed that you are alone in this -- must be really scary. People are showing their true colors, unfortunately. I pray someone steps up to speak for you.

I love the fight in you. You are going through a hell right now. Angry is OK! I would be too.

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Thank you for the validation
and the space to vent.

I deserve so much more
than a burden label.

I’m very angry this time around.

Really feeling like I was a free counselor to some and when I lost functioning, poof. There they go. Again.

Emmarose47 said:

This morning after I wrote the above post I lay on my bed (again and felt into 'what do I do when I feel done' like I do at the moment and I remembered I surrender, I surrender the whole bloody lot...
I'm such a fighter too sunshine these past few yrs have been one catastrope after another. thing was I had fight, I had drive and determination and all but now I feel weak and out of the above. Of course who wouldn't, when we go through challenge after challenge it erodes on a healthy system never mind a M. E cfs one and whatever else is going on.
I feel blessed for what I do have but is it enough!? Like a crawling parched scorn body crawling across a vast desert.
I feel it's important for us to share our shit because my shit is your shit and visa Versa not to fix each other but to be heard.
I share not to make it all about me, or to be victim but to have a voice in a world that carries on with its pleasures and it's darkness. What I'm discovering unless there is true love generally people don't give a shit cause self comes first. Then there are the empathic, sensitive Co dependants like me who care too much.
I've seen the non love from my family members, that stuff really shines up when we are vunerable and in need.. I've let my father pretty much go recently. Friends get on with their lives and I had to let a 7 Yr friend go 1yr ago for the lack..
I have to trust that the letting go is an act of self love but fuck it feels lonely.
So divine spirit it's over to u because while people, blood, others go on plush holidays, rejoyce in life's goodness, are in the world as I once was..
Only you know the why.... I'll let u write the story.... But hey just make sure its a good ending because come on that must be true 🙏💖

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Thank you Emma
This resonates deeply.
Same with my father here.
And friends.

It’s all so surreal.
I’m a very caring heart surrounded by a lot of assholes. Thank you for sharing and letting me share.

Off to rest.
And continue treating myself for pneumonia bc I don’t have the fight in me today with this system. The nurse last night told me she was calling 911. I said no no I will. For what? To fight to get a bag of fluids? I am open to trying a iv antibiotic on medical premises with supplies in hand to reverse reactions…. But these people seem clueless on the mast cell reactions my body is currently having. They weren’t willing to observe me having a med. I literally just had a full body hives reaction to children’s Tylenol suppositories …and crickets. Very little f**** are given about my case.

Hello @sunshine44. I'm sorry that you don't have an Advocate per se, but may I suggest that you ask to see a minister, priest, rabbi, whoever happens to be able to come? Tell them your story and see if they can be of help. I'm not saying it will work...but also ask someone from that department to come and see you each day.

I've found that the religion really doesn't matter, the prayers are rather universal, but there may be a department that you (of most of us) don't know anything about.

It's not uncommon for patients to be left in corridors until a room is ready. True, they could be left in the ER, but that's not any better...your chances of getting a room are better if you've been fully processed.

You can count on prayers, and I so wish you had a truly caring, loving family. Families are especially needed and should take on the responsibility when their loved ones need them the most. Many blessings to you. Yours, Lenora

Yep is common when we come from families with narcisstic people... Put me in a room and I'll be attracted to the emotionally un avail person even though it wont be obvious and they will be wrapped in shining paper.
Not my whole story though I've had nice and long friendships its just now it's quite a barren land.
Narc families make children (sometimes) who are deeply caring cause someone has to be right?
God sees a true heart and it will get rewarded x

Emmarose47 said:

Yep is common when we come from families with narcisstic people... Put me in a room and I'll be attracted to the emotionally un avail person even though it wont be obvious and they will be wrapped in shining paper.
Not my whole story though I've had nice and long friendships its just now it's quite a barren land.
Narc families make children (sometimes) who are deeply caring cause someone has to be right?
God sees a true heart and it will get rewarded x

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Yes, this is my story Emma 😞
I try to not think about it… but it’s so blatant.

Thank you for the reminders of what I’m facing. And honestly, a contributing factor to how I ever even ended up here.

Thanks for letting me vent guys.
Beyond being deeply concerned of my own situation, I’ve been so triggered by abandonment again. This time, in a time of great need.

Off to rest. Will reevaluate my situation this afternoon. I must remember, I always have the emts that can help me if I get strong enough to reach out to them again. 🙏

sunshine44 said:

she just said they have lots of critical patients and I’m not one of them and there is no reason for me to be there.

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Very infuriating. I'm sorry.

Praying.

sunshine44 said:

I am open to trying a iv antibiotic

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In addition to that, has anyone suggested anti-viral drugs?

andyguitar said:

In addition to that, has anyone suggested anti-viral drugs?

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Surprisingly in 2 er trips, NO! Or monoclonal antibodies or anything really besides a nausea med and cough suppressant and Tylenol.

@Judee , any idea on the dosage to use grapefruit seed extract for pneumonia? I’m looking but too worn out and was wondering if you know anything about it as I know you use it sometimes.

💗

Rufous McKinney said:

Dearest @sunshine44

I am so sorry to hear you are so horribly sick.

I'll hold you, in my thoughts and prayers.

-I got horribly sick myself: acute gastroperesis, just intense tachycardia PLUS I had huge MCAS reactions I'm not even used to seeing happen, and also on top of it I have a lung and sinus infection, which for me is like impossible to even have.

So we are in a parallel universe of This Is Horrible.

My daughter left for three days, during which time I decided reality is a ske5tchy thing. It's all very WEIRDING.

My husband was here, and his nurses, but I just stayed in bed for days. He gets helped.

And why do we have to eat food? Why? Why do I have to digest this?

(I had somewhat fixed my stomach, my SIBO, my gut doing better and then all THIS)

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Oh rufous. Oh my dear.
I’m so very sorry.
So much nastiness going around.

It’s devastating how much progress I made to be in the death grips of this snake like illness.

I pray you’ve found relief.
Thank you for writing and sharing and commiserating. It’s truly so awful.

sunshine44 said:

@Judee , any idea on the dosage to use grapefruit seed extract for pneumonia?

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The poster in this post on Earthclinic said, "For chronic cases (which I no longer have) I highly recommend Grapefruit Seed Extract (aka 'GSE'). The root cause of sinus infections and PND is mold and fungus. A recent study of chronic sinusitis and fungus done by the mayo clinic found that a whopping 97% of people tested had an average of 2.7 types of fungus growing in their sinus cavities. And they were successfully treated for chronic sinus infections using antifungal medications treatments. But what was found to be the most effective antifungal agent, by far, was the natural remedy of grapefruit seed extract (GSE)! ... Same goes for most respiratory infections.

I got home from the hospital from pneumonia and was not OK. Started immediately, I got empty capsules and filled them up 15-20 drops of extract fit in each cap (30 drops, twice daily). Amazing remedy! I've read ppl opening nasal spray bottles of saline solution and adding a 3 drops of GSE and spraying that into their sinuses every 3-4 times daily. Our medicine cabinet won't be without this. Research it for yourself. And lastly, buy the GSE that's been around forever (red label & cap), not the newer ones that I hear are not as potent."

Hope that helps. Do you have the drops? I would say where you're so sensitive to try 5 drops first just to see how well your body handles it.

https://www.earthclinic.com/cures/pneumonia2.html#gfse

Judee said:

The poster in this post on Earthclinic said, "For chronic cases (which I no longer have) I highly recommend Grapefruit Seed Extract (aka 'GSE'). The root cause of sinus infections and PND is mold and fungus. A recent study of chronic sinusitis and fungus done by the mayo clinic found that a whopping 97% of people tested had an average of 2.7 types of fungus growing in their sinus cavities. And they were successfully treated for chronic sinus infections using antifungal medications treatments. But what was found to be the most effective antifungal agent, by far, was the natural remedy of grapefruit seed extract (GSE)! ... Same goes for most respiratory infections.

I got home from the hospital from pneumonia and was not OK. Started immediately, I got empty capsules and filled them up 15-20 drops of extract fit in each cap (30 drops, twice daily). Amazing remedy! I've read ppl opening nasal spray bottles of saline solution and adding a 3 drops of GSE and spraying that into their sinuses every 3-4 times daily. Our medicine cabinet won't be without this. Research it for yourself. And lastly, buy the GSE that's been around forever (red label & cap), not the newer ones that I hear are not as potent."

Hope that helps. Do you have the drops? I would say where you're so sensitive to try 5 drops first just to see how well your body handles it.

https://www.earthclinic.com/cures/pneumonia2.html#gfse

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Thank you Judee!
This helps.
I do.
I’ve had them
For a dental infection I self treated.
I have Mary Ruth brand drops. Just did 3. I also have a gse nasal spray.
Really appreciate it Judee. Yeah, I def can’t do 30 drops with Lyme. Going to see what I can do. I also just found olive leaf I have.

In er.
Few things going on.
Glad I came back in.

Thanks for support guys.

🤍

Hello Everyone.....Judee, I have a question that I hope you may have the answer for. I'm on meds (and I'm sure others may also be on some) that prohibit the use of grapefruit

I did try to find an answer to the questions of whether or not grapefruit seed extract could be used with something like losartan, for example.

Sunshine may be in a similar situation. Grapefruit seed seems to be able to do a LOT and I'm really impressed with it. I would like to take it, but don't eat grapefruit b/c of bad side-effects on major organs in the body. Do you have an answer....so many things can be helped with this vitamin, supplement...whatever it's called, that I would like to use it myself. For others it may be a true gift. Any input on this? Judee, Sunshine, anyone?? Lenora.

@lenora I will find the Grapefruit links for you and post them here after I get up for the day. There is one article that lists a bunch of them and a website with an herbal/medication interaction checker you can use to check it.

(I would do it now but I'm on my phone and it's a little harder to find them and post them for me on the phone. Don't try it until we make sure it's okay. )

lenora said:

Hello Everyone.....Judee, I have a question that I hope you may have the answer for. I'm on meds (and I'm sure others may also be on some) that prohibit the use of grapefruit

I did try to find an answer to the questions of whether or not grapefruit seed extract could be used with something like losartan, for example.

Sunshine may be in a similar situation. Grapefruit seed seems to be able to do a LOT and I'm really impressed with it. I would like to take it, but don't eat grapefruit b/c of bad side-effects on major organs in the body. Do you have an answer....so many things can be helped with this vitamin, supplement...whatever it's called, that I would like to use it myself. For others it may be a true gift. Any input on this? Judee, Sunshine, anyone?? Lenora.

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It’s certainly been assisting me! My pneumonia spots were significantly decreased yesterday in er. I’ve been taking it in and off plus homeopathy etc. I know grapefruit seed extract interacts with many meds though. Definitely be cautious.

An update for those messaging. I went to er yesterday for some issues with my chest, dysautonomia and heart.

My bloodwork is starting to show body is stressed and fighting infection. Wbc, rbc, hemoglobin, platlets and lactic acid type things are all elevated. I’m having some heart issues as well but it’s not acute but it is potentially serious.

The dr said my chest X-ray actually looked much improved yesterday. He thinks many of my issues rn are worn body from pre existing conditions. He is not positive this is bacterial but they put me under observation and started my first antibiotic since 2017. My thrust and mouth are doing well with it. I am having some other issues with burning itching hands and feet and GI mast cell but I’m choosing to push through right now and see how far I can get since it’s not life threatening. Risky business.

They did another 2 bags of fluid because my veins were flat upon arrival. Ambulance tried twice and could get nothing in. They unfortunately waited too long to give fluids and they got to see what happens when dysautonomia gets mad. Dr was a bit freaked out for awhile but after 5 hours I was stabilized enough to….. go home again! It’s really stunning. Isn’t it? Dr did want to hospitalize me but said no way insurance would pay for it with how much I’ve improved with covid and heart issue is chronic not acute.

My friend and her family are going to be angels (I feel terrible about this) and attempt to transport me Monday to a dr the er dr called and got me into for my heart. Wish me luck. I feel it’s got to be blood flow related but really no one knows. My q, T and S waves are shears abnormal and i have signs of anterior infarction. Not very cool. At all. But I’ve certainly had a tremendous amount of heart pain past 7 years that the supplements greatly assisted with. We will see what is exactly going on. Hopefully sooner than later.

I really appreciate everyone’s support. This has been a tremendously challenging time in my life. Many triggers coming up too. And calling 3 ambulances in one week…. Is not easy. Yet, I asked the dr what signs I should have to go in and he said signs I came in with 😞, so it is what it is. For people like me with no access to home healthcare.

Wildly enough, my o2 is doing significantly better than normal!! Try explaining THAT to a Dr 🙈 it almost seems to me my body is making hormones during this crisis I don’t normally make. That’s what it feels like.

All my love 💗

Thank you for the update, sunshine. It seems they listened to you a little more this time, and your doc did what he could and was honest with you about prospects for your heart and hospitalization. Not ideal, but better than you've experienced before.

I'm thankful for your angels!

Your strength is an inspiration. I'm glad you are doing better.

Blessings.

@lenora, here's one list I found online: https://archive.kpcc.org/blogs/news...ruit-drug-interactions-rise-85-prescription-/

Here's a site that lets you do herbal/medication look ups but just one at a time. Like put grapefruit (choose it when is shows on the dropdown) on the left side and then the medication name in the box on the right side (again choosing the correct one from the dropdown). https://hellopharmacist.com/drug-herbal-interactions

I thought there was another site too but I can't remember what it was. I know Drug.com doesn't let us check grapefruit against meds. I did email them once to say, "Why not??"

sunshine44 said:

My pneumonia spots were significantly decreased yesterday in er.

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Hurray!!! I'm so glad.

sunshine44 said:

My thrust and mouth are doing well with it. I am having some other issues with burning itching hands and feet and GI mast cell but I’m choosing to push through right now and see how far I can get since it’s not life threatening. Risky business.

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The abx might help if you are able to continue with it. Of course, watch for any sign of anaphylaxis esp involving the throat, mouth, or breathing.

sunshine44 said:

Dr did want to hospitalize me but said no way insurance would pay for it with how much I’ve improved with covid and heart issue is chronic not acute.

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sunshine44 said:

My friend and her family are going to be angels (I feel terrible about this) and attempt to transport me Monday to a dr the er dr called and got me into for my heart.

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I'm glad you're getting to follow up on the heart issues. Hopeful the doctor is kind and helpful.

sunshine44 said:

I feel it’s got to be blood flow related but really no one knows. My q, T and S waves are shears abnormal and i have signs of anterior infarction. Not very cool. At all.

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Did they do a heart ultrasound? Is that how they saw the signs of "anterior infarction?"

Hope everything goes well for you. Please do keep us updated if/when you are able. Prayers continuing too.

💖💖