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Is 'Payback' Worth It?

A TRIP OUT
This week I did something I hadn't done in a while - I went to the cinema. I was very excited to see a movie in person, rather than on the TV at home. I drove myself there to meet a friend and spent most of my time simply sitting down, so hoped I wouldn't be too tired afterwards.
OVERDOING IT
I really enjoyed the movie and felt on a kind of 'high' from all the visual and mental stimulation. I was so pleased to be behaving like a 'normal' person, I decided to push on and do a few errands afterwards whilst I was on a roll. I relished being out and about and getting things done. Perhaps going out wasn't too tiring after all?
PAYBACK
This was disproved to me when I got back home and suddenly felt my remaining energy draining away quickly. This was the start of the inevitable 'Payback' that occurs after exerting myself. I went for a lie down and basically stayed in bed for the rest of the evening. I was still pleased I'd managed to get out and do something social though.
THE NEXT DAY
This is when the 'Payback' really hit. I felt exhausted. Actually ill and dizzy, which lasted the whole day. I understand that payback is part of the deal of going out; there's always an energetic price to pay, but I conveniently forget how bad it can be when I'm planning things! Excitement and optimism carry me through the outing. Only when it comes to paying the price afterwards do I think 'Oops!'
DEPRESSION
As a consequence of being exhausted and of being alone with my thoughts after the event, I get depressed. I tried to do One Thing for myself, like a 'normal' person, and this is what happens - total exhaustion for days! It just doesn't seem fair. I want to get out more, not less, but the repercussions are horrible.
IS 'PAYBACK' WORTH IT?
I reckon the Payback from my outing lasted three days. But, despite the consequences, I'm pretty sure I will be going out again soon! It makes such a difference to my mental health to socialise and feel like I'm participating in life, I just have to do it! Perhaps a shorter outing next time might reduce the Payback? Is there anything that you do that you feel is worth the exhaustion afterwards?
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Comments

Rufous McKinney
I was just PAID BACK myself.

My five hour outing, to a government office, where mostly I just sat in the chair...TWO WEEKS OF PEM.

I predicted I'd just be a little tired the next day, like you said.

Often I'm a bit anxious when it's a doctors appointment, or tests, that type of thing. the Dentist. (hate the chair)

I was entirely not anxious here, and crashed for TWO WEEKS?

(I think my crash included residual payback for holiday activities).

Personally, watching a movie, in the daytime, is likely to crash me. Having the news on, not paying much attention does not crash me but somehow concentrating does.
 
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Rufous McKinney
Perhaps it was the now Your ON a Roll- activity.

You should not have done those errands, on top of the movie.

Like I should not have gone touring the ancient cathedral, checking out one art gallery and enjoying street musicians. Making my way back to where we parked the car.

But thats what we do. You felt well enough to go to a movie. And we have a little lift, feel a tad optimistic, and just want to behave like normals.
 
Rufous McKinney
My adult daughter, she points out to me that it MUST be worth it. The payback.

DURING PEM: I often regret the little thing I did that triggered it all. But once I pull, out, which mostly happens, well...I'm still enjoying my one hour of Xmas shopping, 50 feet from my front door here.

That was my huge challenge. To go out my own front door, alone, walk down the block and act like a normal person (ice cream is across the street, chocolate even!)
 
liza58
Acting like a Normal Person is a dangerous activity for us, Rufous! So hard to resist in the heady moment though!

Yes, concentrating,even on something fun, does seem to drain energy really quickly 😮. Our brains must use a lot of glucose!

Hope you can enjoy a few fun activities this month without too much payback x
 
L
I find that worrying is every bit as bad as going out and doing something.

I have really curtailed my social events (consisting of lunch once/wk. with my husband) since I fractured my hip. My advice: Go while you can and yes, you know there will be payback, but the act of feeling normal is worth it.

I would like to start going out more myself. Too much of a recluse and that's not good. Socially, I still have two good friends who pop in for coffee or just a chat and that's great. But we're not young and things definitely change at that point. Our daughter is coming up for lunch...I'll make an effort to go to her house, but sometimes I'm just not up to it. Yes, I'm sure it aggravates her and why wouldn't it?

So go, go, go while you can, but limit the amount of time you're out. But then you know that, don't you?

The holidays are just plain exhausting. Valentine's Day is good...just enough. Yours, Lenora
 
liza58
Hi Lenora, I'm glad you have two good friends you can still see. Friends like that are worth their weight in gold!

I hope you can go easy on yourself and find gentle ways to connect with people.

My mum is recovering from a fractured hip right now too, so I know how frustrating it can be to not be as mobile as usual. I hope your hip heals well x
Liza xx
 

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