I don't really have anyone I think I can talk to about this in real life, but I can't keep it all inside me either. My partner has ended things, they don't love me anymore, and as soon as they're well enough for someone else to look after them, they want me to leave. I think I want to leave too. Not because of the ME, but because of them.
Every time I hear stories on here about couples who have broken up, it's usually the partner caring for the one with ME that leaves, because they can't handle it, and I think about how I've stayed. I see the stories about people with ME, who are so grateful, and thankful for their partner and all they do, and I think about all the hate and anger my partner gives me, for every mistake or misstep.
I think it's been over for a while, and I think it's more than the ME. We're not understanding eachother, not seeing eachother. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to give them what they want, and no matter how hard they try, they can't forgive me for when I've accidentally hurt them, everything good isn't enough to wipe that away.
I won't go into the details of the past few hours, it's too muddled still. All I know is it's over, it may come back some day, but for now I'm still caring for them, and they are still severely ill, and love hasn't been enough.
I love and appreciate everyone here who has been following our past hard few months, and I will likely still need help and support from here going forward. I just needed to get this off my chest today. Right now I need to open my laptop and go to work, and then bring M their next meal like nothings changed.
Every time I hear stories on here about couples who have broken up, it's usually the partner caring for the one with ME that leaves, because they can't handle it, and I think about how I've stayed. I see the stories about people with ME, who are so grateful, and thankful for their partner and all they do, and I think about all the hate and anger my partner gives me, for every mistake or misstep.
I think it's been over for a while, and I think it's more than the ME. We're not understanding eachother, not seeing eachother. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to give them what they want, and no matter how hard they try, they can't forgive me for when I've accidentally hurt them, everything good isn't enough to wipe that away.
I won't go into the details of the past few hours, it's too muddled still. All I know is it's over, it may come back some day, but for now I'm still caring for them, and they are still severely ill, and love hasn't been enough.
I love and appreciate everyone here who has been following our past hard few months, and I will likely still need help and support from here going forward. I just needed to get this off my chest today. Right now I need to open my laptop and go to work, and then bring M their next meal like nothings changed.
