I've been going to doctors and saying "somethings wrong since about '05" they kept telling me I was perfectly fine and I embraced that even though in the back of my mind I knew otherwise - then in '08 I had a day where I became so sick that I ended up in a hospital, in '09 I go the sore throat that lasted for almost 2 years and that's when I diagnosed myself with CFS. I spent the money to get tested for XMRV - they said it was positive for what thats worth in light of all thats happened since. Since then I focused on the medical community for help, I wanted to believe in doctors, they convinced me I was depressed and gave me a ton of pills, the pills made me feel better and then it turned ugly, I am newly off drugs and now I'm trying to learn the nuances of this illness so I can try to help myself and stop relying so heavily on doctors. I've read a lot of things on this forum and, most of what I read is over my head. I'm asking questions that most already understand, but I am desperate to understand how to take care of myself, because I feel that so far I've done more harm to myself than good and I don't want to continue down that path